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Coming Out At Work – How To Tell Your Boss And Colleagues That You’re Gay

Coming out at work – how to tell your boss and colleagues that you’re gay

Coming out at work can be difficult – so how do you tell your boss and colleagues that you’re gay?

Industrial advocates suggest that before you bust out of your closet, you may want to consider some strategies.

Coming out at work can be difficult

Despite tough anti-discrimination and sexual harassment laws, coming out at work is still a daunting step for many LGBTIQ Australians.

Some fear losing their job, or think they will put their future advancement in a company at risk.

Additionally, some workplace cultures make it difficult, for example, macho mine sites, sporting clubs or anywhere with tough-talking tradies.

And then there’s workplaces run by religious organisations.

For example, schools, hospitals and nursing homes, where appallingly, LGBTIQ employees can still be legally fired because of their sexuality.

According to a Pride in London poll, 74 percent of LGBTIQ people still feel the need to hide their sexual orientation.

So, despite Shirley Bassey’s war cry to ”Go ahead and open up that closet!”, here’s some things to consider.



The Law

With the exception of religious organisations, anti-discrimination legislation protects LGBTIQ people in the workplace.

Sexuality Discrimination

Firstly, discrimination based on sexuality or gender identity is unlawful.

Discrimination happens when you are treated less favourably at work than another person because you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or because of your gender identity.

Therefore, you employer cannot sack you or take adverse action against you.

For example, demoting you or refusing you a promotion, or excluding you from training and advancement in a company because of your sexuality.

Sexual Harassment

Secondly, it is unlawful for someone to sexually harass you based on your sexuality.

Sexual harassment is unwelcome conduct that is sexual nature, that offends, humiliates or intimidates you.

For example:

  • touching or kissing,
  • suggestive comments or jokes about you,
  • sexually explicit pictures or posters,
  • repeated invitations to go out on dates or requests for sex,
  • insults, taunts,
  • invasive questions about your private life or body,
  • or sexually explicit emails, text messages and social media posts.

Sexuality Vilification

Thirdly, sexuality vilification is also unlawful.

Vilification is a public act that incites others to hate you or ridicule you because of your sexuality or gender identity.

It can take the form of speech, graffiti, websites, public abuse or social media posts.

Why come out at work?

There are lots of positive reasons to come out at work, both for yourself, and your co-workers, despite the risks.

For example:

1.  YOU CAN JUST BE YOURSELF

It takes effort to hide, and to pretend to be someone that you’re not, having to always watch what you say around people. Coming out will mean you will no longer have to worry about how to act, or what to say around others.

2.  YOU WILL BE MORE PRODUCTIVE

A happy worker is a good worker. If you are happy to just be you at work, you will be more likely to concentrate on other things, like getting the job done.

3.  YOU WILL FORM CLOSER FRIENDSHIPS WITH YOUR CO-WORKERS

Your co-workers will appreciate your openness and honesty, and will be happy to accept you for who you are in most cases. The best friendships are based on honesty, so you might find yourself with friends you didn’t know you had.

4.  YOU COULD BE A ROLE MODEL

Especially if you are older, or in a senior position, you coming out and living honestly and openly will inspire younger LGBTIQ co-workers to feel okay about coming out at work too.

Coming out at work – how to do it

There are many ways to come out to work colleagues.  Here are some suggestions:

  • Casually drop into a conversation at the water cooler what your plans are for the weekend with your “partner”.
  • Put a photo of your partner on your desk, and simply correct your colleagues if they ask if it’s a picture of your brother or sister.
  • Put a big fat rainbow sticker or flag on your desk – it will act as a not so subtle billboard.
  • Talk about LGBTIQ issues in the news in the lunchroom, and your colleagues will soon get the hint.
  • Bring your partner to a work function.  If you’re really brave, drag your other half to the annual Christmas party, and introduce them to your work mates.

Finally, and most importantly, don’t feel pressured.  

Coming out is a very personal decision, and everyone has their own journey.  

Always do what’s right for you.

Support and advice is available

If you need advice or support with coming out, there are services available in every state and territory. 

Visit the Reach Out website for details.

If you want more information about sexuality and the law, visit the Human Rights Commission website.


Call our team at Discrimination Claims on

1800 437 825

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